Acknowledge Your Fears
I love the expression, ‘a fear named is a fear tamed’ and whilst I am often afraid of things, I will recognise what I am afraid of by saying it out loud, and then watching as that fear disappears.
My favourite experience with naming fears, was not with me, but with my nephew. My sister and I were going away for a week to Spain, near a theme park with her two boys. We had a two day pass to the theme park, and there were some great roller coaster rides there. My youngest nephew was too small to go on the big ones, but my older nephew was able to – just not willing. His mum was not a fan of them, and I have a picture of the two of us going on a ride where she was just green! I believe her son had adopted that fear, and was refusing to go on any ride. So whilst sitting by the pool one day, I asked him what he was afraid of. There was no reason, he just kept telling me “I don’t know.” So I got him to say, “I’m afraid of the ride” again, and again until he was getting fed up of saying it! He was also laughing about it so much that when I asked if he was still afraid, he said no. The next day, we went back to the theme park, and I asked him if he was going on the ride. He didn’t really respond, but he did give me a look that said ‘do not push me’. I didn’t, until we got to the end of the day, and to the scariest looking ride of them all. I asked him if he was going on there, and he said that he would only do it if his mum did. I didn’t think I would see that green looking face again, but I did! My sister went on the ride, looking sheepish, but when my nephew came back, he wanted to do it again, and again! I now know that he loves roller coasters and goes on some that I am afraid to venture on!
When I think about where I am in life, and what I am afraid of, the one that comes up is not being a failure, but being a success at what I do. It may seem strange to be afraid of success, but I am used to being in the back watching others do well, that being a success is scary for me. If I imagine it happening, I got hot and bothered, and this image of me standing on a stage and it all going wrong comes to my mind. However, if I go past that and think, how can I thrive in that experience, then the only answer that comes to me is “I’m human, things will go wrong, but I can only move forwards from that”.