I was at a point in my life when I wanted a relationship. I can remember that I was single, and had been for a long time. However, I was also at a point where I didn’t know if I was gay or not. Actually, I did, but I wasn’t ready to admit it to everyone just yet. I couldn’t. There was a lot of stuff that I had to deal with in order to admit that I was gay. In some ways, I wasn’t ready, and in others I was, but it would be a while before I really would. So how does this connect with Angels? Well, I believe that I met one. I’m not sure, but maybe I did, maybe I didn’t – but it was one of those things that happened that I just can’t really explain.
I remember the day clearly. It was a Saturday and I was doing a demonstration of clairvoyance in Camden, London in the evening. I had been taking an online course in Abundance, and the exercise was to declare to the universe what I wanted. That was it; I wanted a relationship. I started listing qualities that I wanted, and just as I finished, I said that I wanted him to be ‘exotic’. I had no idea where the word came from, but there it was. I left the house quite excited, thinking tonight’s the night! I got to the church, and even as I stood on the platform and looked around, I thought darn – he isn’t here! I finished the evening, and headed home. That was when the fun begun.
I went to the tube station, and I had a choice. I’m no good with directions, and I wasn’t sure which platform I had to get for Kings Cross Station. I stood at one of the platforms and waited, and as the train arrived and I got on. As the doors closed, I just knew I was on the wrong train. I got off at the next stop and then went back to Camden and then got the right one. I was happy to be on the right train and I asked Spirit what was going on, and they just said “You asked for this.” I laughed really not knowing what they meant, but left it at that.
I managed to get my second train and the rest of my journey went OK… until this man got onto the train just before the doors closed at one of the stations. I noticed how he was dressed all in black, how handsome he was and how he had these amazing eyes. He sat down opposite me and I noticed he was looking at me. I looked up and he looked away, and when he looked I looked away. It was a moment when I wish I had the confidence to say hello, but the next stop came and he got off the train. I went home, feeling gutted that I hadn’t seen anything, especially as I saw him watching me as he left the platform and the train sped past him.
The next day, he was still on my mind, and I wondered what would have happened if I said hi. Then I asked Spirit. I was listening to the radio at the time, and I heard Wet Wet Wet singing ‘Angel Eyes’. I laughed and thought that I was just making it up. The next song played was Robbie Williams ‘Angels’. OK, I normally ignore one sign when I think it’s silly, but when I heard two songs in a row, I thought OK – send me another sign to confirm it! I got it. I was walking somewhere the next day and I suddenly stopped, looked down and saw a single black feather on my path. I stood and thought, I won’t challenge Spirit again, but also I recognised that it was OK for me to be gay. Whether that guy was an angel or not, he showed up to let me know it’s OK to be me, and for me to be who I am.